“This is a difficult one, AngryTed, my suggestions are:
1. A pair of oven gloves.
2. A jar of anti-ageing wrinkle cream,
3. A special occasion - take her to watch Scunny United and buy her a burger.
4. A packet of hoover bags.
5. A lady's razor.
6. A packet of chocolate digestives (on special offer at Morrisons)
7. The Great Escape video.
8. A year's subscription for the Rod & Gun magazine,
9. A packet of bingo markers.
10.A sticker for the car - 'Danger - Woman Driver' and a new wheel brace.
11.A pink hi-viz jacket.
12. A battery-operated nose hair and ears trimmer. (if you can afford it, buy some batteries as well)
13. Some cut-price Christmas cards.
14. A dressed crab.
15.Some pink toilet paper and a new toilet mat.
16.A couple of lottery tickets.
17.Some headache tablets.
18.A new set of darts.
19.A tube of anti-fungal cream.
20.A soap on a rope.
.....my list isn't exhaustive, but I hope you've found by suggestions helpful, AngryTed.
Always here to assist when it comes to romantic gifts...”

“You should take her somewhere expensive, like the petrol stations itself!!!”

“Buy her the winning lottery ticket then she can ****** off and leave you.. miserable tight git you are”

“Outstanding list phred, I have copied it and will implement next year. Many thanks for the ideas.”

“@TUGGER4ME - Any time.....I'm glad you find my ideas useful.

I'm really on old romantic at heart!!”

“A petrol station”